Elu's Poetry

I’ll give you a secret. I’ll give you my secret I’ve been hiding under my skin. I dont belong here, i dont belong in this city, i dont belong in this town. I belong in the woods howling at the moon, roaming the night, and hunting my prey. I dont belong under this roof. I belong in a cave, under the stars, free to come and free to go. I dont belong here, demesticated like a house pet. I was born to be free, born to be wild, i was not ment to be contained. You can only keep a wolf caged for so long, until she breaks free and hunts down the creature that dared to cage her in the first place. I’ll give you a secret i have been hiding under my skin, i am not human. I am a werewolf just waiting for her chance to break free.

Surrounded by darkness, surrounded by dread. I cry as i watch the one i love suffer through the hardships of life. I want to do something, but all i can do is sit back and watch helplessly. I can do nothing, i can not interfere. I wish i could change things, i wish i could make the pain inside disappear. I can see the pain spreading through his body, the stress pounding on his head. I can feel his patients dropping, his anger rising, and his frustration growing. His hatred of this life building. It’s like a cancer, consuming his body….and all i can do is sit back and watch :’(

Everytime i tried to stay, my heart just kept pulling away. I don’t know what to do, I tried to stay for you.

The dreams i have are and always will be just dreams. My dream is to go places, and travel the world. I want to explore the planet i live on…but the problem is, that is just a dream. A dream that will never come true. Dreams are a waste of time, my time. I need to stop dreaming and start living in reality. My dream will never come true, that’s why its called a dream and not reality. Dreams are just dreams, nothing more.

Hurt, i am hurt to the core as i think about what i had done. Regret flows threw me. Wondering if i even had a chance.

An endless wall of grey hangs above me. Tear drops fall upon my head. Voices all around me, never stopping, never quieting. Laughter and conversation blend together as i listen to my surroundings. I walk in the room, instantly hit with the warmth of the heater. Greeted by a new teacher, she smiles and calls our names. In the room i feel alone as i listen to the happiness that rings in thier tone. My thoughts are trapped and i can not wonder, as the laughter in the room grows louder still. Quieter and quieter they get, secrets spreding, rumors mocking, and quiet laughter spreading throughout the room. An hour to wait, what’s the rush? I will only have to wait six hours more

Can you feel the tears run down my cheek? Can you hear me when i cry? Do you even notice that i’m here? Of corse you don’t, no one does. It’s like i never was. I’m just a shadow hiding in a corner, an empty seat in class, i was never in school because it’s like i never was. You pass me, you don’t say hi, all you say is good bye. You cross my path but you don’t see me. But just wait and see, i will not be called a nobody. I’m screaming, I’m crying out for you. But of corse you don’t here me, what am i suppose to do? My heart is cracking, happiness is what im lacking and i dont know how to get your attention. If i can’t get you to notice me, look at me, or even speak to me then what’s my perpose here? what do you want from me? Can you please help me? I’m crying out for you, please tell me what you want me to do.

I want you to know that i keep on trying, but i just cant be the person you want me to be. I cant be someone else, i can only be me. You can wish all you want, but im not changing. You can change my clothes, my looks, my life or just stab me with a knife but you cant change who i am inside. You can teach me new ways and you can teach me old ways, but I’ll always end up doing things my way. You can’t force a bird to be a fish for it will surley drown, and yet you still try.

Caged, like an animal at the zoo. I try to escape, i try to get out. If i dont leave im gonna shout! Trapped, all i can do is sit and wait. I need to get out that stupid gate! Cornered, like a deer about to be shot. When i get out i must run. I must get away from this horrible place. I just got to get out that stupid gate. Theres the gate, lets hope i get through. Nope, caged, trapped, cornered, I’ll never get out.